v1.3 (last commit 2024-09-09T21:37:45+00:00)

On average, it takes a victim of abuse about 7 attempts before they finally leave their abuser – unfortunately, the violence often escalates after each attempt

When I first heard the above statistic, I was both shocked but not surprised. We all encounter repetition compulsion in different areas of our lives, but its impact can be devastating when we feel powerless to escape the cycle. It’s heartbreaking to watch ourselves, and those around us, stuck in patterns of self-defeating behavior, often hurting the people we love most. In my experience, and in conversations with friends, a common manifestation of this is the habit of entering unhealthy romantic relationships due to unresolved trauma. One recurring theme is how frequently our choices in partners reflect the emotional dynamics we grew up with. It’s been said that for many, love is more about what feels familiar than what brings true fulfillment.

What is Repetition Compulsion

Repetition compulsion is a psychological phenomenon in which an individual unconsciously repeats or re-enacts a traumatic event or its related circumstances, often as a means of attempting to understand, master, or heal from the trauma. This concept, rooted in Freudian psychoanalysis, suggests that people are driven by an internal "compulsion" to relive their past traumas, even though these behaviors may cause harm. Freud introduced this idea in his exploration of how individuals may feel the need to recreate their traumatic experiences, proposing that this repetition is an unconscious attempt to achieve resolution or closure for events that are unresolved within their psyche.

Freud described this as the "compulsion to repeat," where individuals might find themselves reenacting the emotional, relational, or situational elements of past traumas. This repetition occurs not as an intentional act but as an unconscious process that leads the individual to recreate the emotional conditions of their trauma, regardless of the negative consequences.

What Does Repetition Compulsion Look Like

Repetition compulsion can manifest in a variety of ways, often without the individual being aware of the patterns they are following. One of the most common examples of repetition compulsion is seen in relationships, where an individual who experienced trauma in childhood may unconsciously seek out or recreate those dynamics in adulthood.

• Abusive relationships: Someone who experienced abuse as a child may repeatedly enter into abusive relationships as an adult, mirroring the power dynamics and emotional experiences of their past. For example, an individual raised in an abusive household may find themselves with partners who exhibit similar controlling or violent behaviors.
• Self-destructive behaviors: People might engage in self-sabotage or self-harm as a form of repetition compulsion, unconsciously reenacting trauma they experienced in the past. Someone with a history of emotional neglect may turn to substances or other forms of self-harm as a coping mechanism.
• Triggers and responses: Another manifestation of repetition compulsion is the recurring dream or intrusive memory that someone with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) might experience. These individuals may relive their trauma in their dreams, or they might find themselves repeatedly triggered by certain sensory cues (sights, sounds, smells) associated with their trauma.

In each of these instances, the individual is repeating patterns from their past, often without recognizing that they are doing so. Other more generalized examples include:

• Someone who has an emotionally distant parent or caregiver goes on to have adult relationships with people who are also emotionally distant.
• Someone who is rigid and stays busy all the time, never allowing time to feel and experience emotions.
• Someone with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) has recurring dreams of the traumatic experience.
• When feeling anxious, an individual turns to their favorite movie or TV show and watches it repeatedly.
• After being the victim of a crime, someone may seek out horror movies or watch a lot of crime documentaries to re-experience similar feelings.
• Substance abuse like alcohol when feeling emotional discomfort or stress

Why is Repetition Compulsion Unhealthy

Repetition compulsion is harmful because it perpetuates the cycle of trauma, often without providing any resolution or healing. By reenacting traumatic experiences, individuals re-open old emotional wounds, exposing themselves to further psychological distress. This constant re-traumatization can lead to:

• Re-victimization: Individuals may place themselves in situations where they are repeatedly victimized, reinforcing feelings of helplessness and powerlessness.
• Emotional wounds: Instead of healing, repetition compulsion can cause the original emotional trauma to fester, exacerbating feelings of anger, shame, or fear.
• Self-destructive behaviors: As individuals reenact their trauma, they may engage in self-sabotage or behaviors that harm their emotional and psychological well-being.
• Chaotic Lifestyles: A lack of stability in one’s personal and professional lives does not create a healthy environment for relationships.
• Toxic shame and helplessness: When a person unconsciously relives their trauma, they may reinforce the narrative of helplessness, leading to toxic shame and diminished self-worth. This cycle can severely damage a person's ego, leaving them feeling trapped in their trauma.

Why is Repetition Compulsion So Hard to Break

Freud’s quote, “Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways,” provides insight into why repetition compulsion is difficult to break. The underlying trauma that drives repetition compulsion often remains unresolved and unprocessed, buried deep within the unconscious. Because these emotions are not fully confronted or understood, individuals are compelled to recreate the circumstances in which they first experienced the trauma, unconsciously hoping to "fix" the past.

This compulsion to repeat is linked to the human tendency to seek familiarity, even if what is familiar is painful or traumatic. There is an innate drive to return to earlier emotional states, and people often attempt to recreate and master their trauma in the present, believing that if they can control the outcome, they can finally overcome their pain. However, since these actions are often unconscious, the individuals rarely achieve the resolution they seek, instead perpetuating the trauma.

What Causes Repetition Compulsion

Repetition compulsion is commonly associated with early life trauma, including abuse, neglect, or other highly stressful situations. Several factors can contribute to the development of repetition compulsion, including:

• Unconscious patterns: Sometimes, people develop certain patterns to cope with intense stresses or traumas. When these patterns are repeated once the trauma or stressful event has ended, they can be viewed as trauma re-enactment or even a form of self-sabotage. For example, someone who once got stuck in an elevator may now refuse to use anything but the stairs.
• Childhood sexual trauma: Someone who experiences sexual trauma as a child, such as parental or sibling sexual abuse, may seek experiences as an adult that mimic the abuse. For example, they may choose partners who are sexually abusive or occupations that victimize them sexually. It is also important to distinguish that sex work is a valid occupation, and not all sex workers have experienced childhood sexual abuse.
• Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD): Some individuals with a diagnosis of OCD who have also suffered previous traumas may find that their repetition compulsions are connected to their OCD compulsions that stem from obsessions. For example, an individual who choked on food as a child may develop a compulsion to always cut food into very tiny pieces before eating.
• Attachment issues: Sometimes, individuals may develop insecure attachments with their caregivers. Because caregivers are supposed to be a child’s safe space, these children may grow into adults with attachment disorders who seek out relationships that are abusive or partners who are narcissistic, in some way mimicking their experiences as children.
• Surviving a disaster: Some individuals who are victims of natural or man-made disasters may utilize behavioral re-enactments of the trauma. They may also re-experience the trauma through symbolic or visual recollections.
• Proneness to avoidance: Since repetition compulsion happens at an unconscious level, individuals who are prone to avoidance or dissociation may be more likely to develop these habits to cope.
• Trauma anniversaries: Some research supports individuals as repeating behaviors related to their trauma on the anniversary.

Additionally, individuals who are prone to avoidance or dissociation may develop repetition compulsions as a means of unconsciously coping with unresolved emotions.

How To Stop Repetition Compulsion

Depending on the severity, breaking free from repetition compulsion often requires years internal work. There is no quick fix. Individuals need to develop healthier coping strategies to confront and process their underlying trauma rather than unconsciously reenacting it. There are several methods to achieve this:

1. Self-regulation practices: Engaging in mindfulness-based practices, such as deep breathing, positive visualization, yoga, and journaling, can help individuals become more aware of their emotions and behaviors, allowing them to pause before engaging in self-destructive patterns.
2. Psychotherapy: Various therapeutic approaches, such as psychodynamic therapy, trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy (TF-CBT), and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), can help individuals uncover the root causes of their repetition compulsion and work through the unresolved trauma that drives these behaviors.
3. Trauma-informed care: In therapy, a trauma-informed approach helps individuals feel safe and understood, focusing on empowerment and trust-building. This method encourages patients to explore their past in a supportive environment.
4. Developing secure attachments: Learning about one’s attachment style and how it affects relationships can help individuals recognize when they are engaging in unhealthy patterns and make more intentional choices in relationships.
5. Compassion-focused strategies: Approaching oneself with compassion can help break the cycle of repetition compulsion. Individuals often experience shame when they realize they are repeating unhealthy patterns, but self-compassion allows them to address these behaviors without self-criticism, paving the way for growth and healing.

Conclusion

Repetition compulsion is a complex and deeply rooted psychological phenomenon that causes individuals to unconsciously reenact their past traumas, leading to self-destructive behaviors and re-victimization. Breaking free from these patterns requires a combination of self-awareness, therapeutic intervention, and a willingness to confront the unresolved emotions that drive these behaviors. Through therapy and self-regulation techniques, individuals can begin to heal from their past, break the cycle of trauma, and cultivate healthier relationships and behaviors.

References

Psychology Today. (2017). Different Types of Trauma: Small 't' versus Large ‘T’,

Medical News Today. (2022). What to know about repetition compulsion.

American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (5th ed.).

Freud, S. (1920). Beyond the Pleasure Principle. The International Psycho-Analytical Library, 4.

National Center for Biotechnology Information. (2012). Reenactment, Re-victimization, and Self-injury: Trauma and Repetition Compulsion. Retrieved from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3330499/

Simply Psychology. (n.d.). Signs of Emotional Abuse. Retrieved from https://www.simplypsychology.org/signs-of-emotional-abuse.html

Simply Psychology. (n.d.). Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy. Retrieved from https://www.simplypsychology.org/mindfulness-based-cognitive-therapy.html

Choosing Therapy. (2023). Repetition Compulsion Trauma: Signs, Causes, & Treatment